Winding down another day here on Martha Avenue. Sometimes the days just feel so spacious... not a horrible thing, but a little weird nonetheless. Such heaviness in the world, so many things to worry about, so much sadness and frustration and fear. And yet, the moments of sweetness and joy are there too.
Spent an hour on a zoom call to celebrate my fantastic brother, John. Such a great father, excellent friend, hilarious teammate, wonderful inspiring person. I feel so lucky to call him my brother and to get to do this life thing alongside him. It was such fun to see John and his girls, my kids, Allison (John's GF),my mom and my brother Dan and his girls who are staying with her, and Willi and I all together virtually. Think about how much harder this whole thing would be without ways to connect over the internet!
Got to see Johnny again on another zoom call to connect him with our dad who is in assisted living near John, but because of Covid is unable to have any visitors. I know that it was imperative to get my dad more help, and making the move to North Carolina and into an assisted living place made sense, but it still weighs on me that he is in a place where no one is allowed to visit. And he had only been there a little over a month when the shut-down occurred so he hadn't really made any new friends. My dad is a person who never really had oodles of friends. In contrast, my mom has a huge, very supportive community. But my dad, not so much. Until a few years ago, he lived on his own in Palm Desert in a huge house, with only two or friends. Then we moved him into an independent apartment place in Oakland, The Lake Merritt Hotel. The Lake Merritt was great as long as he was able to look after himself. And for the first time in a long time, he had several people who were his friends. People to eat lunch with and people to attend classes with. And then his medical needs became too much for him to handle, the household chores got to be too much, and it seemed like the time to move him into a place that would afford him more care.
We moved him to North Carolina in the first week February and Willi and I drove his stuff out to him a week or two later. He was part of the decision to move, and also agreed that it was a good idea in theory, but when he got there, he was pissed. Angry that he was in a much smaller place, angry that there were no other doctors as residents which meant no easy conversation starters, mad that the activities seemed less intellectual or artistic than the ones that he had been used to at the Lake Merritt, mad that he had ended up in a situation where he was being looked after by other. And then, just as the shut-down for Covid happened, he broke his hip and ended up in surgery and then two weeks in rehab. And rehab, was a huge step down from the assisted living. And he hated it.
Now, he is back in the assisted living place, but being much more complacent and understanding of why he needed to be there and how much better it is than the other possibility that he might have had to stay in the rehab place. It's good to see that he is more cheerful and complaining a lot less, but it is still really hard not to be able to see him, to wish that I had a house that had a bathroom on the ground floor or a second bedroom or something. I know it's not reasonable, but it still feels crappy. And it's really easy for me to feel guilty about it.
Taking care of aging parents is hard anyway. This quarantine and the risks of Covid make it even more frustrating.
Spent the rest of the day doing prep for tomorrow's orders. Cookie dough, apple crumbles, strawberry tarte. Willi worked on the Pozole prep and working up a fresh batch of Ragu. We had a nice grill dinner with Jamye and Chris and counted our blessings once again that we have such a nice mini-bubble here.
Played a fun trivia game that Mark and Colin run, with Carrie and Gaffneyand John and Milissa and Gretchen and Dan and a bunch of other smart people. The questions were all Sound of Music themed, not really about the movie, but all connected to the theme somehow. Like one whole round was connected to Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti... with movie clips that started with each of those two-letter beginnings. It was a really hard trivia game but super fun and gave us another moment of "quarantine like normal people".
Let myself indulge in watching D'Arcy"s new show HOT TRASH which is on the SF Oasis youtube site... super funny and great to see. Watch it, if you want some snarky, dragged-out fun.
Ok, back to the kitchen for me. Tomorrow is SF and North Bay delivery day. We are considering adding homemade buttermilk biscuits with Pt Reyes Blackberry Jam to the menu, and also considering bringing back the Thai Vegetable Curry. I've also been testing some Chocolate-Cherry-Almond biscotti.... let us know what sounds good to you!
Menu below is good for next Wednesday and pick/up delivery for SF and the East Bay. Orders for Wednesday should be placed by Monday night.
Feeling way too fortunate. Counting my blessings. Sending out love and compassion to the hurting world. Wishing safety and justice and progress to all who are out there in the streets. Take care. Be strong. Be Safe. Be as kind as you can.
Hug yourselves for me. xoxo