A quiet day. Had an appointment with my orthodontist... felt really strange to do something so ordinary, in such an extraordinary time and in such a strange way. The office had patients check in at the front door/lower lobby through a baby monitor, and use hand sanitizer while you waited for an assistant to come down the stairs, have you answer questions about possible exposure and current health status, take your temperature touch-less and then guide you up the stairs to the office. All the patients were spaced out so that no one was in adjacent chairs. All the technicians and the orthodontist were fully gowned, with double masks, eye protection and face-shields. It was sort of intense. Had a good conversation with my ortho... he's a great, kind, compassionate and usually jovial guy. Today he was somber and thoughtful and we talked of the changing world and the truth that this is our new reality. Felt pretty heavy. And yet, I feel grateful to experience such thoughtful care.
Stopped off at Whole Foods to grab a few things to do our menu testing for the Oasis Meals on Heels event next week, and then headed home to meet my son, Jack, who came by for a haircut and breakfast. So good to have some ordinary time with him. It's like my heart is out there in the world, and having him come home for a visit brings my heart back to me.
The rest of the afternoon was spent ticking things off my to-do list...that endless list of little tasks that just grows and grows and never seems to get completely done. Today felt good though, I got a bunch of things ticked off the list. There are still 10 things that are getting transferred to a fresh list for tomorrow, but I am trying to make sure that I let myself acknowledge the things that I get done each day. Otherwise, my feelings of overwhelm and exhaustion and frustration at the mountain of things on my desk makes me blue. So, for today, I am saying, "wheee! I got a bunch done!"
Willi made a great grilled dinner. He is really trying to help me get back to eating clean. I know it drives him crazy that I need to eat clean, low-salt, no sugar etc. in order to keep my poor liver healthy, when his chef sensibility is driven to making 'delicious' the main priority. But we work on finding a compromise... so that I can stay healthy and he can have delicious. Tonight's dinner was BBQ salmon, asparagus, grilled onions, grilled Bok Choy, Corn on the Cob and grilled nectarines for dessert. Absolutely satisfyingly delish!
We spent an hour or so in the hammock talking about language of anti-racism, the difference between being 'not racist' and being 'anti-racist', the question about the value of police departments in the future and lots of other much less serious topics. If I had to get stuck quarantining with someone for many months, I couldn't have picked a better person.
The evening finished with a reading of The Last Days of Judas Iscariot with an amazing group of zooming actors. I feel so lucky to be part of this community. We may not be able to work together right now, or to see each other in the way we are used to, but it still feels good to read through a compelling script, with a bunch of intelligent, funny, crazy talented actors. I miss our work. I miss sitting around a donut of a table and doing a first read-through. I miss the rituals of signing in to rehearsal, greeting the doorman, sitting down to my dressing table. I miss standing in the wings waiting to go on, watching from the darkness out into that glorious light and then out into the rich, vibrant dark of the house. I miss words swirling in my dreams. I miss feeling like myself. But tonight... readings like this... give me a taste of it again. I hope that someday, we can be in a room together again.
And now, I'm headed to bed. Tomorrow is a SF delivery day, Monday is SF and North Bay. I have been delivering from here all the way to Novato, Petaluma and out to West Marin every Monday. Updated menu is below. Let us know if we can bring you some goodness too! Also, check out SF Oasis website sfoasis.com for info on our collaboration for the PRIDE episode of their Meals on Heels. We will be testing the special menu for this event this weekend, and taking photos, which we will post soon.
For tonight, take care of yourselves. Be willing to have the tough conversations with your loved ones and friends. Open your minds to the changing sensibilities, the truths, the cultural shifts that are happening now. Feel the power of change in the air, and the hope for a better, kinder, more inclusive world. Wear your masks. Figure out what you need to feel held and seen and kind. Know that I am grateful to think that my words might resonate with you, and that I write more easily knowing that you are reading and that you are part of my community. Get some sleep and make plans to commeorate, celebrate, acknowlege Juneteenth tomorrow. Keep working towards a better, kinder, inclusive world. Hug your self for me. xoxo