What is it about old friends? The friends who have seen you at your worst and at your best, who have heard all the good things and all the shameful things, who have seen you through triumphs and terrible scary times. The friends who love you anyway. The friends who drop everything when you say you really need them. The friends who will hold your secrets, hold your sorrows, hold your guilty pleasures.
I am such a lucky woman to have finally figured out how to enjoy the friendship of women. When I was a kid and even up until college, I had very few women friends. I grew up with brothers and naturally skewed pretty “masculine” in my energy and my ambition. Naturally too, the world and media influenced my trust in women and I never really understood what power there was in female friendship… until Kristen. And Kim. And then my eyes and heart were open and I was able to see the power and magic and support that was there all around me, in women’s eyes and hearts and minds and bodies.
I met Kristen and Kim in college. Kristen first, and we rapidly became completely inseparable. Although we met a year or so later, Kim and I have been each other’s rocks for many many years. A few years after college, I was living with my boyfriend at the time, and they both came up to live with us. We’ve seen each other through love affairs that went wrong, marriages, divorces, infertility, pregnancy, childbirth, childhood illnesses, career shifts, bumps in the friendships, traveling, aging, mourning the deaths of parents, mourning the loss of youth, grieving the current things that are happening right now in the world, celebrating each other’s triumphs and generally being THERE. We fundamentally understand each other.
The last couple Monday’s I have reached out to Kristen to see if she wanted to meet me at the beach for a swim when I travel up there to do deliveries. She lives 45 minutes away from the beach, so it’s not a quick endeavor. The first week it was just a way to get some fun in the day and I had masks to deliver to her anyway. The second week, I was in crisis with some family stuff and asked her to come be there with me. Yesterday, we ended up sitting in the cold and fog, eating delicious turkey-avocado-pickle-cranberry sandwiches and talking about sex and love and commitment and aging bodies and holding space for each other. And there is nothing like that feeling of 30+ years of acceptance and love. Even 6’ away from each other, it still is a very good thing.
If you have a friend who is your rock and your support, reach out today and send them a little love. If you’ve fallen out of touch, you can still reach out. Remind them, and yourself, of the connection and love that is there, even if it’s had its ups and downs. And if you are in need of that kind of friendship, look around your circle… even your FB friends list… I will bet that there is someone on that list who values your friendship. Hell, you can look at me. Because I do value all my connections and friends,… old and new… (and that means YOU TOO) as the people who help me feel anchored and connected and supported and encouraged. And during this insane time, we need all the love and connection we can get. Safely. With a mask. Have a good day… hug yourselves for me! Xoxo