MARTHA AVENUE- Day 87 Woke too early, which means its only 7:30pm and I am ready to call it a night. I am not going to get to do that actually, but it sounds good right now.
Our next door neighbor had asked us if they could cut down one of the trees in our yard.... I always find that it's difficult for me to say 'no' to anyone, especially anyone that I feel has some sort of power over me. In this situation, its that weird "I'm in 6th grade and I don't want to get sent to the Principal's office for any reason" feeling. And it doesn't really make sense. The upshot though, is that I agreed to the tree removal. Today the guys came to take it down, and all morning I felt terrible for the tree. Like I had betrayed the tree somehow. After it was taken down, my yard just feels vulnerable and bare. Now, our yard is incredibly lush by SF standards with a double-wide lot... our house (which is Jamye and Chris
downstairs, and Willi and I- and my kids when they are here, upstairs) is on one side of the lot and the rest of the lot is filled with trees and random plants...we are not much at landscaping or heavy gardening, but we enjoy the space a lot. Almost daily, we remark to each other how lucky we are to be sheltering in a place where we have some outdoor space, a grill and outdoor table to share meals, room for hammocks (currently at a count of 3) and room for me to experiment with growing some food. So today, when I gave permission for one of the trees to be cut down, I had some deep second thoughts. I know it will be pretty quick for us to get used to it, but I did say a little apology to the tree today.
The morning was spent in the final reflection meeting for the amazing coaching group that I have had the pleasure of being a part of for the last six months. These women are so fierce and compassionate and intelligent and kind and lovely. The group originally was intended to provide support and space for a group of women to step bravely deeper into their edges with regards to personal and business growth. When we began in January, that seemed like it was going to happen. I had some trepidation at that point, because I had a full year of theatre booked and wasn't sure how much energy I had to put into a business idea (like the Empowered Sexuality workshops that I had been working on setting up). Once Covid and the shut-down happened, however, this group shifted a bit to support the changing needs of all of the women involved. Led byAngie, this group of women met twice monthly to support, uplift, hold space for grief and encourage each other. Today's goodbye call was powerful and sad and really really lovely. I will miss seeing those faces.
Spent the afternoon at the shops gathering supplies and the rest of the day testing new dessert recipes for our next collaboration with Oasis' Meals on Heels on the 17th. Working on a Deep Chocolate Cherry Brownie... the first version has both dried Montmorcy Cherries as well as fresh cherries, and toasted almonds. They smell delicious... just waiting for them to cool enough to cut and taste. Next up will be a Meyer Lemon Semolina cake... as soon as we figure out the best version we'll share some photos.
Currently sitting on a zoom call, listening to the Walnut Creek City Council debate budget and the possibility of eliminating the position of Artistic Director at Center Rep. I sent in a letter, but right now I am listening to personal testimony and pleas from various theatre folk... Sharon and Colin and Karen
and Marc made me cry already.
I miss our world. I miss all the fantastic artists and technicians that I have gotten to work with over all these years. The news that Broadway (and all NYC theatre) is completely shut down until 2021 feels so intense and scary. Hearing that Cirque du Soleil has declared bankruptcy, and knowing how many other theatre companies and arts organizations are teetering on the brink, it all feels like we are watching a house fall into a sink hole. I try to explain to Willi how hard it is to daily, DAILY hear about the loss of some other part of our world. He is correct when he tries to reassure me that "theatre" with a capital T, will always find a way to survive. And I agree... storytelling, standing up beside the fire to say "this is what I saw" will always be a part of how humans communicate. However, it's not the whole picture. I am mourning the loss of the rituals, the family we build with each show, the people we don't let go of when the job is over, the relationships that continue on, and inform and enrich the next time we get to work with one another. I miss the war stories in green rooms. I miss tech rehearsals. I miss appreciating the beautiful work of the designers and musicians when we all come together to make something beautiful that didn't exist before and won't exist when we are done. I want that back. And for now, I can't quite just be 'ok' with the reassurance that Theatre (with a capital T) won't completely die. I want to be back in a theater working with Ken Ruta again.
But for now.... I will be in the kitchen. I will funnel my creativity into food, and my love and nurturing and desire for connection into serving the community delicious things several days a week. Bringing good food to my community and the people who have connected with us during this time through MARTHA AVENUE is helping me get through.
Friday's menu is below. A few folks have asked about South Bay delivery. If we have a few folks who live in the South Bay who are interested in ordering, Friday would be the best day for that. I will put a new button on the website www.marthaavenuefood.com for delivery to South Bay and let's see what happens!
Meals on Heels at Oasis will be catered by us on July 17th. If you want to join in that fun, we will be serving up a hearty Lasagna with our meaty Ragu and homemade noodles, Grilled Ratatouille-stuffed Summer Vegetables, with Provençal rice and Roasted Garlic Pomodoro and an Antipasti Salad, in addition to the desserts above. Should be a delicious night!
For now, let's do what we can to stay kind, stay open, stay willing to make change happen, stay fierce in working to make things better. Let's take care of our bodies, our hearts and our friends. Eat well. Let us know if we can help with that. Get good sleep. Drink extra water. I am going to do that right now. Listen to music that makes you happy. Tomorrow morning, I will be playing the show tunes while I get the orders set up and the bread baked. Sending you all a virtual hug, until we get to do it for realsies again. xoxo