Another whirlwind day. Up early to set the Anadama breads and get the cake chilled and filled with the lemon curd I made yesterday from the lemons Colin and Karen gave me last week. Zipped to the Trader Joe's and Whole Foods for a couple things we needed to get today's orders out the door.
Visited the TJs over at Stonestown and the WF on Ocean. It's so interesting to me to see how different branches of the same store are dealing with all the restrictions. It varies from location to location, but I can say that across the board, TJs seems to be managing to keep bringing the cheer. Everyone there seems to be rolling along with a positive attitude, and it really makes a difference. Some other stores seem to have tons of new people, or super low morale or a huge difference in the way they are enforcing things location to location. I hope that things are as positive on the inside, but at least from my observation, it's a pleasure to shop there even in this nutty time.
Home to finish the cake, which due to the heat today was a challenge! Swiss Meringue Buttercream is my frosting of choice. It's soft and sweet without being cloying, spreads easily and makes the cake taste and look gorgeous. But it is a challenge to get the buttercream to set up well when it's hot out! I had to keep putting the cake in and out of the freezer, wrapping the bowl of the mixer in ice packs, switching out the paddle for the whisk when it got too warm. Makes me envious for folks who have AC.
This old house I live in is over 100 years old. I love living here, and have lived in this house for over 25 years. But it is an old house, and comes with the quirks of an old house. No AC, no heat to speak of, and lots of creakiness. But it's a fairly happy home and the neighbors are amazing. I am very lucky to be quarantining with this group of folks.
One of our customers today (and a friend of mine) spoke to me about this writing practice and how my post about dealing with depression was helpful for her. She talked about how hard it is to talk about depression, to even feel entitled to ask for understanding given "how lucky we are". That she felt guilt even saying that she felt depressed because her life is really so good. We talked briefly about it, but I think its worth mentioning again that depression doesn't care if you have everything in the world or nothing. If you are loved or wishing to be loved. If you are rich or poor, fit or out of shape, old or young. Depression is just what it is. And what it is can be very different person to person, or season to season, or episode to episode. Another friend wrote me to say that the kind of depression that doesn't present with tears is even harder to talk about, and sometimes we don't even recognize it as depression. Sometimes it presents as insomnia or under/over-eating, picking fights or having no interest in sticking up for yourself. Watching endless movies, or not wanting to watch anything at all. It presents itself in so many ways.
The last two days, I have felt much much better. Lots of energy and a lightness that has eluded me for many days prior. I am trying to recognize this time as a good one. And for however long it lasts, to try to enjoy it.
The rest of my day was spent delivering to folks in the city and the sweet gift meals sent to customer's friends, a jaunt to Marin to see Liz and Matthew who gifted us with wine from Matthew's winery... so very lovely!... a stop at Kevin and Leslie's house and then out to Pt Reyes to see my mom. My son, Jack, went with me. Such a treat to have some time alone with him in the car, just to listen to whatever he wanted to talk about. I am so proud of the work that he did with the Covid-testing site. He talked me through how he would screen folks who came into the site, and it made me wish Johnny could spend more time with Jack. So fun that their work is in the same field and that John has been where Jack is now.
Harvested nettles and bay leaves at my mom's, had a great chat with my youngest niece who helped me with the nettles and then a nice catch-up with my brother. Drove home and wolfed down some pappardelle with the new Porcini Ragu and some of the test loaf of Meyer Lemon-Rosemary Sourdough I was working on today. I think we are going to offer some sourdough options... the Meyer Lemon-Rosemary, a Toasted Walnut and maybe a Kalamata Olive loaf. Anyone think those are a good idea? Shall we go ahead and add them to the menu?
Menu for Wednesday is below. SF and East Bay delivery. Orders for Wednesday need to be placed by Monday (tonight) night/Tuesday morning. We still have porcini if anyone wants to buy them fresh, and we also have this new Porcini Ragu (vegan). Delicious with the pappardelle! (I ate two servings!)
We are both pretty darn fried tonight. Gonna leave the mess for the morning. In the meantime, hug yourself for me. Give yourself a break if your nerves are frayed, or your temper flares or you need a good long cry. Take a bath, or a shower with a candle. Drink an extra glass of water and actually enjoy the taste. Be kinder than necessary. Know that there are lots of people out there (or right here) who are going through something similar and totally understand your fears, hopes, disappointment, amusement, or joy.
Sending you all lots of