MARTHA AVENUE-Day 20!
Wow... twenty days. Three weeks tomorrow. Which means that we have been quarantining (A word? Not a word?) for about 6 weeks. It both feels like it's still a surprise (and not a fun one) and also like we have lived this way forever. I find myself anxious about a return to "normal", and about how the world, or at least my little part of it, feels better this way....in SOME ways. Not all ways... my temper is short, I feel on edge about being touched without warning...but in many ways.
I like the space to go to sleep at 9pm if I need to, the reduction in stress of getting a kid off to school in the morning (now he just rolls over and turns on his computer to be 'at school') and the comfort of lower expectations about my work in the world... seeing as I can't really do the work I am meant to be doing in the world. I like the quieter streets and the sound of birds. I like the little garden we planted and have hopes of actually eating from it soon. I like kneading bread and having appreciative eaters for the sweets I like to make.
The other stuff... the not so nice stuff... is there too, but I am trying to see this as an opportunity to look at the shadows, open up those dusty boxes of patterns and find a new way to start again and again. It doesn't feel easy, it doesn't feel fun, it often feels like a huge pain in the ass... but it does feel like the thing that I am being given an opportunity to face and unpack and figure out... with someone who is willing to keep trying as well.
I feel very lucky to have Calum home here, even if he mostly holes up in his teenager room with the cats and snacks and endless online games of D&D and guitar practice. His is a very comforting presence. And he is always there for a non-judgmental, not-trying-to-fix-anything hug.
And, if nothing else, there is the comfort of the kitchen, the feel of the bread dough in my hands, the smell of pots bubbling on the stove and the knowledge that in some small way, we are making things a tiny bit easier for folks by bringing some delicious good food to their lives.
To anyone who is feeling like this time is weighing heavily on you... find a time to do one little kind thing for yourself. Love yourself in an authentic aligned way... good nutrition, a little extra sleep, a bath, give yourself a strong hug and pretend really hard that it's from me. And then find a way to do one kind thing for someone else. Maybe it's as simple as making a sign for your window, or writing a message in chalk on your sidewalk or calling/emailing/texting someone to check in on them. Feed your brain stuff that feels good and doesn't make you feel anxious or sad or despairing. Now is absolutely the time for dumb romantic comedies and puppy videos. And it's also ok if you have tons of energy (it is the new moon AND spring after all) and want to create new art, fix the world, dance your ass off. Be kind in whatever way feels good to you.
Today we did some photos of the Fresh Pappardelle with a couple of our sauce options. Go ahead, drool. I did. And then promptly ate the entire "talent" bowl of the nettle version and most of the ragu version.
Orders for Monday (SF Pick-up/delivery and North Bay Delivery) should be in by Saturday night/early Sunday morning. Menu below!
In the meantime, give yourself some love, be kinder than necessary, limit the stuff that makes you feel bad. Stay safe. Hug your people. xoxo